WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
