Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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