problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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