He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
