wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
