Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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