last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
