it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
