She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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