We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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