I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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