i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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