I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
