im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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