PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
