yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
