i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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