i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is my gift to your gina
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
