speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
