I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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