whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
