ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Everyone says I win the strip club
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
