all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
