Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
