smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
