I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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