Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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