Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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