im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
