she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
