Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
