My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
