she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
