Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
