I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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