we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize