I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
