i think i have two assholes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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