Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
