I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let's get the cat blown out
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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