if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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