i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We're too hungover to prance.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
