At least make sure they are 18
Why
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
