It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
