My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize