problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
