I am puke
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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