walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
