Everything about him screamed your future.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
