apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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