Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
