dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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