Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
