Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
