that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
