hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
