you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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