Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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