Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
