I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
