Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
