I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
