What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
