she woke up with a sticky ear
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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