Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I smell stomach acid.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
