I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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