new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
