I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
