Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
