Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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