i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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