Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
